I’ve discussed my love for music and it’s power of keeping me in flow. It’s rooted deep in my bones. Going
without music is like going without food or water; it can be done for a certain amount of time until I feel myself needing it, craving it, even fantasizing about it.
I got my first iPod-like device when I was seventeen. This is when I started organizing my songs by the month. Each month I create a new playlist to keep track of what songs I’ve recently added (since the “Recently Added” file just isn’t organized enough for me). Ever since I’ve started to create these lists, I’ve found myself going back and listening to the old ones.
Since I was seventeen I’ve had a few different music devices, so some of my lists have been lost over the years. When I’m going through a musical dry streak (i.e. I don’t have any new songs I’m obsessively listening to), I go back about eleven months to an old playlist. I’m not sure why, but the old tracks I feel like listening to are always from ten to eleven months prior.
I can close my eyes and remember exactly how I felt at that point in time. I remember where I was, who I was with, what I was going through. I remember how each song made me feel, and observe that feeling from a new, outside perspective. It’s interesting. It takes me somewhere comfortable, somewhere I’ve already been to and I start to get nostalgic. This week I was listening to my playlist from last April. It reminds me of my trip to Cabo. It reminds me of the walk I took from my parents house to the subway station, where I would go to meet my boyfriend for our gym dates. It reminds me of my cousin. For just a moment, it reminds me how easy it would be to go back to all of that. And if I’m being honest, it’s hard to not want that.
Just like music keeps me present and in flow, music also keeps me grounded and reminds me of what I’m creating for myself. I won’t grow or expand by wishing it was last April. But I can certainly still enjoy Machu Picchu while strolling along the sea wall, being grateful for how far I’ve come.
Pause. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Pause. Repeat.
Other favesies from last April:
Reminded – Tyga ft Adele
My First Song – Jay-Z
Rolling In The Deep – John Legend
She Said – Plan B
Forever – Wolfgang Gartner ft Will.i.am