Standing in line at the grocery store a few weeks ago, I overheard a girl talking to her friend about some guy
who asked her out, but she didn’t have the heart to say no. She was in this dilemma since “he’s such a nice guy, and I feel bad, I don’t want to make things weird”. She resolved to tell him she doesn’t date guys from work. Which could be totally valid, if she actually felt that way. It’s not for me to say, but for the sake of this article let’s say it’s not.
To me, being a total stranger completely unattached to anyone in the situation it seemed pretty easy. No one wants a pity date. But mostly, no one likes being lied to. Be authentic in your communication with others, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. It can be more difficult with such delicate situations, but in the end it’s better for everyone.
A stranger would probably tell you, no matter what your situation is, to be honest. Don’t be rude, or fake to “avoid” hurting them. Actually avoiding them doesn’t help either. Address the situation when it arises so there’s no room for the mind to wander and make up stories about what’s going on. I’ve been there; I’ve avoided responding to a person because it’s a difficult situation for me to deal with and I end up making it a bigger deal than it should be. Like Mark Wahlberg said in We Bought a Zoo, all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. That’s it. Take a deep breath, and just be honest. This allows for a real conversation to begin, where both parties can say what’s really going on for them.
That’s probably what a stranger would tell you. They would look at the situation without any attachments. They would likely give you the response that respects both parties equally, because they aren’t privy to either of you. If that stranger was me, of course. What do you guys think?